week seven

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sue

i fell out of your tree can cut open my leg;
i slept at your house every birthday eve;
your basement terrified me.
my drawings of yin-yangs and soccer balls were still up
in your vacant home
the night you fell.
i wasn't there to comfort you,
like you were for me.
you used to cut comics out of the paper,
but only the wittiest.
i can't believe i used to love your repugnant
tuna/cheezewhiz sandwiches.
i'd eat one right now though to have you back.
i'd stomach twenty of them to see you for an hour.
please god.
let me be twelve, let me have my embarrassing bull-cut,
let me go to the park with her.
we'd go to the rocket park
and the one with the long slide.
i'd sleep over and let you tuck me in.
i'd play on the swings over the ditch for hours
until you called me in for dinner,
standing at the door in your white velcro shoes.
please god.
let me slip through a chasm in time
from this zeitgeist of malaise
for one ephemeral visit
to that place unadulterated.
please god.

ricky cheney

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4/1/09 haiku

fake gmail accounts
serve for the creation of
many april fools


when i'm a doctor...

april 1st, 2023: hello mr maxwell. my name is doctor hackett. i'm sorry to write you at such short notice, but we have a dire emergency. your sister is here in the emergency room in utah, and she has a rapidly progressing disease that requires a kidney transplant. we have reviewed your family history and found that your precise blood match makes you the best donor candidate. since time is short, we ask you to please go immediately to your local emergency room and have them remove one of your kidneys and life flight it on ice here to salt lake city. your rapid cooperation is essential to the well-being of your dear sister. you are a brave man, mr maxwell. we thank and applaud you.

april 2nd, 2023: hello mr maxwell. april fools! enclosed is your kidney.

austinrory hackett

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freedom

freedom, freedom
sometimes i wish that freedom would tell me what to say
and point me int he direction that i have to take
i guess that's the price you pay for freedom, freedom

liberty, liberty
sometimes i wish that she would force me to go the right way
so if i made a mistake, i'd have her to blame
guess that's the price you pay for liberty, liberty

bianca merkley

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love at first sight

i suppose its possible.
but i'm not holding my breath.

sara thomas

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eek

i thought that there twisted in thought
was why wrinkles
could come
about as i asked anything and all about a
long lived lovely ludicrous lucky lustful life...

erik fullmer

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my best friend is an anorexic cyclops

on tuesdays i walk to the wash hut
completely undressed
on wednesdays i walk to in the venue
alongside carter as he rides his bike
on saturdays i make out with my ex girlfriend
in washington
i think i would do anything to make out with a girl
the only thing better than making out with girls is this

chris duce

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i was driving home late at night and i was stopped by a red light. i looked both ways and there was nothing else for miles. the crosswalk signal changed and a dog crossed the road. What kind of dog uses the crosswalk? as he passed he looked at me like I was crazy, so i yelled that he was the crazy one!


















jimmy bunting (submitted by myron)

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just a reminder

i got a reminder this week.
it was just one reminder
but it reminded me of a lot.
it reminded me to buy tampons.
which reminded me that i have no money.
that reminded me to get a job.
it reminded me of my level of pain tolerance.
that reminded me to take pain killers.
they make my stomach hurt if i don't ear
so it reminded me to eat.
it reminded me that when i eat
it makes me sick in every way possible.
that reminded me to take pepto and pain killers.
it reminded me to get the heating pad out.
that i am dependent on it for some form of relief.
it reminded me that i have a sex.
that i am different than those business men.
it reminded me that
in this world of equality
that i am not equal, i am superior
i have to be reminded every month
that i possess more power than they ever will
it reminded me that i can create life,
once i remembered that
i forgot all the rest

aly cain

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