week one

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my favorite part of a cold
is probably right after the runny nose stage
when the mucus becomes substantial again.
i make a mountain of tissues by my bed

and the mountain makes me feel productive.

or maybe it's the first day of coughing
(before it dries the throat)
when a whole lecture hall goes silent
to wait for my fit to end

and for ten seconds everybody has to pay attention just to me.

austinrory hackett

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the following is a non-fiction short anecdote that i actually submitted to reader's digest about a year ago in attempts to claim 150 bucks... i am still anticipating my check:

late one night a friend and i had a disagreement about which of the 50 states was largest in size. he insisted it was texas while i was certain it was alaska. having a phone handy, i suggested that we call information to see if they might resolve the debate.

i dialed 4-1-1 and posed the question to the operator who answered.

she replied, with a hint of disstain in her voice, "this is not what information should be used for," and hung up.

disappointed by the response, we decided to call back and try again. i dialed and asked the woman who answered, "which state is larger, texas or alaska?" she replied, "that is so bizarre, the operator in the cubical next to me just asked me the same question. i'm pretty sure it's alaska"

myro

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gmail - a revolutionary new way to type.

inbox (1) - joy

inbox - pain

chats - forging eternal bonds

save now - incomplete thou

drafts - incomplete thoughts

spam - hawaiians love it but me.. not so much

reply - defining which individuals you care about

forward - mildly clever

subject - always takes about 2 minutes figure out

to: destination, purpose, goal

cc: quasi to to:

send - done and done

rich curtis

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i see the ice cream on your tie
not shockingly blatant
but obviously present.
a small spot nestled
between the diagonal navy
and red stripes.
it stands out.
light green, a dark brown smudge
reveals chocolate chip mint
as you present stats and data
point to pie charts and bar graphs
you are a package of perfection.
never a slip of the tongue
or embarrassing body noise.
perfect composure.
the facade of complete control

megan morton

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an altogether successful valentine's day is drawing to a close. how better to spend that day on which to commemorate your love for your loved ones, than by watching a sassy red-headed australian shop herself into emotional reconciliation? ah yes, compulsory behavior. i know thee well.

and on just such a note, we are driving past a tgi fridays! deep fried green beans? don't mind if i do.

the hostess must be reading my mind. yes, i see all these empty tables, but i think the understated décor would be set off so much better by sitting right behind the drink station, don't you? clearly. this way, we can have a better view of the rag that you are using to wipe down the tables.

so romantic. and out come our assortment of deep fried valentines.

thank goodness.

sara thomas

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waiting. i wait and i wait.
patient. i pate and i pate.
i'm bored. i look at the floor, my shoes.
you come. you look at the floor, my shoes.
you speak. i look at the floor, my shoes.
i think: please tell me how it could be
only the 45-year old men waiting in line flirt with me?

meg stratton

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birthday wishes

this day you came from the womb
your eyes do sparkle like the half moon
mother and father were so proud
when you popped out you cried so loud
your face was as magical as a wizard's left hand
this special day will be so grand

rev. marty

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haiku of hunger

i am hungry and my belly needs food

so tired of being hungry

so tired of lame girls

come to lunch.



don't tell me it's too far

don't tell me you don't have time

don't say you already ate

just come eat lunch with me

come to lunch.

gard nelson

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the kitty and the subatomic particle

in some parallel world of this multiverse,
every possibility creates another course.
the dead cat is alive, the donners get a ride,
and virtual self translates into real life.

but this sphere is my domain, and to this limit
you will always be better on the internet.

breanne ruthanne chipman

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long weekends

some people will die
and simultaneously
give birth to more fun.


my legacy

i hope when it ends
it will be on a monday.
the kids will love me!

colin pinegar

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journal

february 11
today i am grateful for adam rudnicki and the mix tape he made me senior year of high school - 1. because it was a tape and that was all i could play in my car and 2. because it changed my life. adam, sorry you had to sell all your things and start over in life. that means there are no more remaining copies.

february 16
technically i am no longer a new york resident.
but i am still a new yorker -
i talk with my hands
i have a loud and emotive voice
i believe in eating good food
september 11th makes our connections more real than anyone else could understand.

february 20
i've contemplated picking up smoking so that i can take four 10 minute breaks from work every day and go outside in the sunshine.
marlboro lites or american spirits?

i wonder if the twitch in my left eye that won't go away is correlated with the increase in the frequency of my winking. correlation or causation?

jana kopeinig

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joker

chris crosby

editor's note: chris did not actually write the lyrics to the steve miller band hit, "the joker", but he does live them to their fullest every day.

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academy award

rory bruggeman